How to Come Out Successful From a Divorce - Marcy Dunphy

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Welcome to Soul Talk. The podcast founded and created by Monica Romirez, the Warrior of Love. Soul Talk was created in 2020 when the pandemic hit, and we were in lockdown. She wanted to have exciting conversations with open minded people, so they could understand different aspects of herself. And she could help others in the same way. She interviews, healers, coaches, therapists, psychics, readers, channelers, mediums, intellectuals, poets, artists, and more. She calls it Soul Talk, because it started as a conversation from soul to soul.

Monica Ramirez: 00:00:47

Hi, everyone. This is Monica Ramirez, Warrior of Love. And we're in Soul Talk. And guess what we're in Puerto Vallarta. And being in Porto and Yatta. I find one of my friends that she is living close by. Her name is Marcy Dunphy. And she is as specialists. Well, she's a psycho synthesis coach or heater. She's going to tell you about why she do. It smells really interesting where she's working with women. So Marcy, tell us a little bit more about what it is psychosynthesis

Marcy Dunphy: 00:01:24

Yeah, Yeah. So psychosynthesis is a style of coaching, where we combine both psychology and spirituality, which is really important, but what I love about psychosynthesis is the very grounded perspective that it takes in coaching women.

Monica Ramirez: 00:01:47

Hmm, I know there, for a while that scientist is trying to the spirituality that it was more for the church, they were trying to separate, those two are not trying to put them together. And nice Catholic Church is not the same anymore. It is what now right now, we're trying to put actually psychology with the personal development. And all this reality particles as it goes a lot, ingredient and ourselves. And when he was before he was permitted to believe in yourself, because the ego was bad. But that created a society that it was not functional, to this day, how you're trying to combine those two in psychology and spirituality? And those two, because they're very important to me today, that how do you do it?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:02:40

So I work with a lot of different modalities and tools, when I'm working with women to help them connect with their soul essence, the truth of who they are. And so when we use our tools and our frameworks within, you know, the psychosynthesis, wheelhouse, we're essentially pulling on, you know, experiences throughout, you know, the lifetime, which, you know, we pull in some of the psychology work, right and working with people. And also, as we move through the process on psychosynthesis, and personal synthesis, we get to engage with some of the spiritual realms, some of the more spiritual aspects of like higher self, and universe and whatever holds to be true for that person. So it looks different for each individual, because everyone has a different under understanding of God, or the universe, or spirituality. And so as a coach, I really help to work with what is true for them, not what's true for me, but what is true for them.

Monica Ramirez: 00:03:50

That is important. Just something I had this conversation with someone that that dies, simply the word alibis, people throw it around that ties with an unsolicited first, or they're thinking if they throw the dice, it has to be done because they say so. When that dies, you can maybe take it or not, and it will should be okay. And also scorches. When we say, given advice, one, first of all, it was solicited. And second of all, we're not trying to force our way of observing life, like you mentioned, yes to others, because you may be very different for everybody.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:04:32

Yes, that's so important. And, you know, personally, I feel that with the coaching that I do, I'll say, I, I would venture to say I don't do a lot of advice giving a lot of the work that I do is actually guiding my clients to their own advice. So that's what's really important for me,

Monica Ramirez: 00:04:56

So they get good solution.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:04:57

Yes.

Monica Ramirez: 00:04:58

Instead of deliverables. She just did. What it? Does there, you get that? Yeah, got it. Yeah. And that's when you choose to copy

Marcy Dunphy: 00:05:08

Exactly.

Monica Ramirez: 00:05:10

Why did you choose only women to work with?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:05:13

Hmm, that's a great question. You know, to be honest, I think it pulls on my own experience. And, you know, going through a lot of the life moments that I went through through divorce, and single parenthood, losing my brother to death at a young age, you know, really working through all of those big moments in life made me really understand myself on a whole new level, and really want to help other women who are going through these very same things. And, you know, because I can speak to my experience as a woman, and can, you know, perhaps resonate with women on that level, and I don't have the experience of, you know, a man and what he goes through, so I work specifically with women, you know, for that reason,

Monica Ramirez: 00:06:03

Something that they bring my attention, a lot of women that they come up to us, they've been repeating the same pattern, and more when we're talking about the divorce, I was one of those very few times. And you see my four marriages that were very, very similar, the type of men that I looked for, until finally I got it, and I changed my recipe. But well, just take me too many women tend to do the same mistake that I used to do that you see, when your client, why do you will say to them, what are you gonna say to them, how they can shift that mentality and not get their next husband or the next partner, doing the same mistakes that they did with a different face with a different name. But finding the same thing over and over again,

Marcy Dunphy: 00:07:02

Waiting for the biggest things that I didn't do that I see a lot of women around, you know, and in your situation, repeating that same pattern over and over again, I actually took the time, I've been divorced for, I would say, seven years. And I have not remarried, I've had some, you know, serious relationships. But one of the things that I really did, and it was very important to me, after my divorce was taking the time for myself. And we see so often, women jumping back into relationship or partnership, seeking for that love seeking for companionship outside of themselves. And part of the reason why coaching is so important to me, is being that support system for women, so that they can discover, you know, that truth of who they are, who they really are, what they really want. And so that now, they're giving themselves that time and that space in there, they're taking all of that energy, and they're bringing it back into themselves and saying, Okay, what is it that I really want? Who am I really? And how do I want to now shift in my world. So this is, you know, going deep into a lot of the work that we do right with women. And I won't talk about all of that today, because we will be here all day. But um, yeah, and just really helping these these women to come back to that space, and to take the time for themselves, to get to know who they really are to get to love who they really are. And then to choose again, so that they're not repeating the same patterns and same habits.

Monica Ramirez: 00:08:48

The loneliness can make people settle down for being worth. That's a pattern in males and females, because I see both.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:08:59

Yeah.

Monica Ramirez: 00:09:00

And, and how do you work with your clients with that loneliness? Because that's the base of the roots of the mistake. Right?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:09:10

Yeah, our biggest fear, I think, is being alone. Right. And so of course, it makes sense that we would not want to be alone. And also, what I've found is that a lot of people don't necessarily feel comfortable going into themselves, because they might be they're afraid to be alone with themselves as well. And to figure out who they really are, and what it is that they really want. Because that will mean breaking out from those comfort zones. And so we choose yes to stay in these limited roles, these limited virgins, these limited relationships, because it's comfortable. We're afraid of being alone. And so we do it to Service to ourselves. And we go back into relationships that aren't of the highest service for us.

Monica Ramirez: 00:10:06

But other journalists, because they're very uncomfortable to be with themselves. Because they're guilting themselves associate like a lot of shame and guilt, they're putting themselves. So really easy to look for the structure. So like that they don't have to counter themselves with him.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:10:26

Yeah.

Monica Ramirez: 00:10:27

It is. That's what it brings loneliness that you're gonna be encountered with all your deepest fears, shames, blames bad memories, traumas, etc, there are things that you can do to heal. That's why it is important to actually take your time

Marcy Dunphy: 00:10:44

Yes

Monica Ramirez: 00:10:45

Find yourself that you mentioned. Because or else, we're gonna get the same kind of guy or girl that he was from our past relationships that for a reason?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:10:56

Yeah, well, because we're staying in those those old versions of ourselves, we're staying in those limited versions. And so of course, when we'd stay in that place, we keep attracting the same thing. And so if we want something different, we have to be something different. And the way that we become different is to get to know who we are really

Monica Ramirez: 00:11:15

Isn't really interested tanks or remember was someone that actually say it over and over and over. Well, he's had a plate that says that the definition of craziness, he was trying to repeat the same story and thinking they were gonna have a different result.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:11:30

Exactly. Yes.

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Welcome, then choosing be part of this group, you have said yes to yourself, you've chosen to confront those limitations keeping you from achieving the life of your dreams. Monica Ramirez, warrior of love is a transformational belief coach. She's a psychic, Channeler certified NLP life coach BQ H that is hypnotherapy, Akashic Records reader, public speaker, writer and artist. She works with many modalities and is created her own like this one, to help you let go of the limitations and achieve the transformation you desire. So you can anchor your emotions that you desire. Tony will be hosting a new session every Tuesday at 7pm Central time leading the group through a guided meditation, then proceeding to work with people individually. So join Monica here in this free journey by joining this zoom link.

Monica Ramirez: 00:12:23

So how do you have a program that you're working with women? In this level?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:12:29

Yeah, yeah. So I offer one on one coaching, which is a really unique experience, and it's very intimate. So we work wherever you know she's at in that moment in her life. And we work through my psychosynthesis life coaching, as well as bringing in my own experiential, you know, past and I'm using it in a really grounding way to bring forth the best possible experience for my clients. And so that one on one option is very intimate. And it's, it's not as structured, I would say, as my programs are. So I also offer group coaching programs that are a little bit more structured, there's a little bit more of a system in place that we walk through as a group in the container. And that's also a really fun one, because it allows these women to learn from each other, and to be part of community, and to see, oh my gosh, I'm not alone in that, you know, and to be there, and service and support to one another, as well as to have me as a guide there, you know, in the container holding that space,

Monica Ramirez: 00:13:44

It is so important to monitor the pandemic that we're just talking with. some friends, it is a pandemic, we just can't. So we feel a lot of us that they're not with us, we're talking about the loneliness, that we were separated from this society.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:14:02

Yeah.

Monica Ramirez: 00:14:02

So that community, because lost in a way, and you're working with in this level, and everybody's gotten the same way, in a way and look, they're all women know, best thing is helping each other as

Marcy Dunphy: 00:14:18

We as women, you know, men too, but you know, specifically talking about women here, oh my gosh, we can learn so much from each other. And sometimes, you know, even as a coach, we might, we might be able to share something or work with someone in a specific way. And sometimes someone in the group might hear things from another woman in the group and it just hits a different way. And it resonates exactly in the way that maybe she needed to hear it. So working in these group programs can be really, really just powerful and potent.

Monica Ramirez: 00:14:56

Yeah, I agree with that. That's because it is so We're seeing every time that we are part of any kind of group that you're wanting to. That's why we have friends, a lot of us, because we want it to be listen. And we're different than that way of have met, there's a book that I read, I loved the book. First of all, you have to factor with that book. Men are from Mars, and women from Venus. And I read about wild about 30 years ago. And there is a big difference that it might mean, I still remember about that book, we may we just want it to be in this. And when we're talking to each other, we just want to feel that so forth, that someone is listening to us, and having that compassion with us, and then try to fix it. And we're not trying to be the one to solve our problem, which is why we do this. So that's why there's a big difference between both groups, I recommend that book, if you haven't read is really, really depressed that book. Men are from Mars, and women differ with men step. And that is a very old book that is still helpful to this day, it's noticing that it was easier to be friends with women, and white or not. There is also in working with women, that they're not working with themselves in the same thing. They're competitive, there can be they have a lot of things, but they're working with themselves is just shifting energy.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:16:26

Yes, yes, it's very important to choose wisely, who you are spending your time with. And this is another benefit. We're talking a lot about the benefits of group parenting. But you know, when you say yes to working in a group program, you're saying yes to yourself. And you're also saying yes to stepping up and elevating who you're surrounding yourself with. And if you're saying yes to programs at these levels, like we're offering and other coaches are offering, you are bound to place yourself with women who are also going where you want to go. And so you instantly are raising your vibration by stepping into this type of group coaching.

Monica Ramirez: 00:17:11

I'm so happy that you're doing this because we we need it right now the world needs it. If we wanted to all of us create a new world, because we will see what it was in the society. And we're not happy with that. And we weren't really wanted to change that. We have to start with ourselves.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:17:30

Yes.

Monica Ramirez: 00:17:31

And we all have blind spots. That's why even the coach we get coach, it's because we do we have blind spots. And when we're having a coach or a healer or someone to tell us about those blind spots that we Okay, that's when we can go to the next process. So I don't care who they are. I just have met a few people tell me I do not have nothing to heal. I do not need a coach, I am not crazy to have terapy. And in reality, every single human being we need coaches or healers or therapists or any kind of help to do what it is alive thinking that you don't have nothing to heal.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:18:17

Yeah,

Monica Ramirez: 00:18:18

I believe that even the Dalai Lama, yeah, that in this in this plane, or Deepak Chopra is in this pain, they have something to work with themselves, or if they will not be in this coma who was to be that much pain?

Marcy Dunphy: 00:18:30

Yeah, this is I mean, it's funny that you're bringing this up, because I, I write a lot. And this is something I wrote on the other day, and you know, haven't shared publicly with anyone but this idea that there's this destination of healed, this false idea that you will eventually get somewhere, and you will be completely healed. And you will be you know, just totally fine. No stuff is gonna come up and bother you, you won't be triggered ever you won't have challenges is a lie. I'm here to tell you right now, you will not come to that place. And here's what's really cool as you get to know yourself, and you get to know all these different parts of yourself and why you're triggered by different things. What you really need in those moments, you come back to yourself so much more quickly, you find yourself being less triggered. You find yourself you know, being more easeful in situations. And so if someone is telling you that they're going to fully heal you or you're going to be healed completely. I'm sorry, but for me, that's a no. Like we are constantly in a journey of discovering ourselves and learning more about ourselves on a deeper level. It's not a destination

Monica Ramirez: 00:19:49

Equals two layers. It's like you have to cover two appliances like no one. You have a magic word. Now you're healed. You don't have any more trap They tell you that process. Not true.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:20:03

Totally.

Monica Ramirez: 00:20:04

It is layers and no one can tell you exactly how to even to do certain can know works. You can get guidance from coaches, healers, therapists, etc. Priest, I don't know, whoever is helping you in that moment. But at the end, we have to get our computers that is their individual.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:20:27

Yes.

Monica Ramirez: 00:20:28

So that magic one does not exist. I don't care how much you be, no one has a magic wand. So run fast from from anybody that can do damage, it is cheaper to buy a book you do don't have the money, or you can't. You're not trusting yourself that someone can help you with that trauma. Believe me, they're coaches for everything. And as much painful can be, you're going to find help you search for it.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:21:00

If you're asking if you're putting it out there, if you're asking, you will receive and also, we need to be open to support. And I know for me one of the most difficult things that I have been working through and continue to because I've never healed fully is asking for help and asking for support. And so and being able to receive it, you know, and this comes back to the stories that we tell ourselves and you know, our conditionings and experiences, but you know, as you open to asking for help, you're also going to start attracting that into your life. So be open.

Monica Ramirez: 00:21:38

Well, guys, this is Monica Ramirez, and thank you for being in Soul Talk. If this helped you. Please give us a like and share with your friends because it may help someone else. Maybe it's not for you. But you know for who it is. So share it, please and subscribe to our channel. And thank you so much. Leave us a review. Thank you so much. And thank you, bye, see you.

Marcy Dunphy: 00:22:01

Thank you. Thank you everyone.